1. I currently have a sprained Pelvis. It’s not a sex injury. Stop being a pervert. 2. A part of me thinks asking an artist about their art is like asking a hen about its eggs. Just shut up and eat the eggs. 3. Another part of me (I believe it’s called the Ego) really wants you to ask me about my art so I can prove how smart I am. 4. Don’t ask me about my art. I’ll probably disappoint with my answer. 5. My childhood hero was Melbourne footballer Brett Lovett. It’s not very ‘artsy’ but I admired his work ethic. 6. I can tell you a great story about the development of chemical warfare that every single person I’ve told finds nowhere near as interesting as I do. 7. My mother tried in vain to get me to be a ballet dancer. 8. I’m a firm believer in Malcolm Gladwell’s theory that it takes 10,000 hours to achieve mastery in any field. People will sell you on their ‘natural’ talents but to be good at anything I reckon you have to just keep working. 9. I requested Whip It by Devo on Countdown when I was 5. Clearly I’ve always had good taste. 10. I once met The Beastie Boys. They were shorter than I imagined. 11. I’m my Mums and Dads favourite child, but to save them from embarrassment we don’t talk about it in front of my siblings. That would be awkward. 12. I don’t own dress pants. In my opinion that’s a measure of success. When people ask me ‘what do you wear to weddings or a funeral?’ I usually respond – ‘I wasn’t going anyway’. 13. The best painting I’ve ever seen in person is Jean Michel Basquiat’s Riding With Death. He knew he was dying and he distilled it down to his purest, most direct work. It’s also just looks fucking cool. 14. This time out I painted animals – it started out when I made fun of people that painted animals and then thought ‘stop being a smart ass and have a crack at it’. It’s harder than I thought to do something unique with it. I owe animal artists an apology. 15. I’m working on a series of paintings of naked bus drivers. That’s not true but I reckon the image in your head of the paintings is way better then the art would be. Does that make me a conceptual artist?
